The Funniest Quotes About Marriage

“In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.”

“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”

“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.”

“Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.”

“For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.”

“Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”

“Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.”

“Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.”

“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”

“Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything: familiarity.”

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